ADHD and Accountability: Tools for Empowerment and Growth
Nov 14, 2023Episode 26
Karalee Gault
Promising to redefine your relationship with accountability and integrity, this enlightening discussion takes a deep look at these powerful concepts, especially for those dealing with an ADHD diagnosis. As we unpack these notions, you'll discover how they can be harnessed as tools for growth and alignment with your goals, rather than sources of shame. We explore how to find the right accountability system or partner, shedding light on how joining communities like the Capacity Club can be pivotal. This conversation, peppered with personal experiences and insights, aims to empower you to make life easier by developing effective systems.
Have you ever wondered why you might avoid certain tasks? We venture into understanding the 'whys' behind our actions, encouraging you to discard shame and embrace acceptance. This understanding could be your stepping stone towards growth and increased productivity. Through this conversation, you're not just getting to redefine your relationship with accountability and integrity, but also gaining tools to improve task management, relationships, and business ventures. So, let's embark on this journey together to redefine and perhaps even revolutionize our notions of accountability.
Have a question, want to chat with Karalee? Send a text to (419) 721-6037 and let's chat!
BONUS, want added to the email list to not miss out on all the goodies, sign up HERE.
Promising to redefine your relationship with accountability and integrity, this enlightening discussion takes a deep look at these powerful concepts, especially for those dealing with an ADHD diagnosis. As we unpack these notions, you'll discover how they can be harnessed as tools for growth and alignment with your goals, rather than sources of shame. We explore how to find the right accountability system or partner, shedding light on how joining communities like the Capacity Club can be pivotal. This conversation, peppered with personal experiences and insights, aims to empower you to make life easier by developing effective systems.
Have you ever wondered why you might avoid certain tasks? We venture into understanding the 'whys' behind our actions, encouraging you to discard shame and embrace acceptance. This understanding could be your stepping stone towards growth and increased productivity. Through this conversation, you're not just getting to redefine your relationship with accountability and integrity, but also gaining tools to improve task management, relationships, and business ventures. So, let's embark on this journey together to redefine and perhaps even revolutionize our notions of accountability.
Have a question, want to chat with Karalee? Send a text to (419) 721-6037 and let's chat!
BONUS, want added to the email list to not miss out on all the goodies, sign up HERE.
Hello, hello, welcome back to Nord Evergip Bites. I am your host, Cara Lee, and today we're going to be talking about accountability, but also integrity. Okay, so when we think of accountability, we I mean, at least I think of like a shamy type of relationship. Okay, whenever I've had accountability in my life, it's been kind of like a you didn't do the thing and now you're like your shit, like I haven't had a great. I haven't had a great relationship with accountability in most of my life. Now, you might relate to this and you might not, but in general, accountability can really really feel like someone's attacking you when they're like well, why didn't you do this thing? Like you said you were going to do this thing and why didn't you do this thing? Now I have an ADHD diagnosis, so now I understand like a lot better on like why I took things so personally and why I struggled to actually do the things and like all this other stuff. However, we get to work with our brain and so we still have to get the stuff done. We still need the accountability, but we need to find the right accountability. What does the right accountability feel like? How would that work for you? Right, and so I want to go into what the textbook definition of accountability is for you. And the textbook definition of accountability is the state of being accountable that you love it with definitions like use the word in the word, but anyway the state of being accountable, so liable, answerable, okay. So like you are taking responsibility right for this thing, whatever you're trying to be held accountable for, right. So there's so many things that can come into play as to why taking accountability might be difficult and we're going to talk about those things today. But before we jump into that, I also want to jump into the definition of integrity, because we want to make sure that we're creating things and being held accountable in a way that feels really true to ourselves and so that we're staying in integrity. So the textbook definition of integrity is an adherence to moral and ethical principles. So soundness of moral character, honesty okay. It's a state of being whole and tired, okay.
Speaker 1:
So when we're creating things who are entering relationships into, like where we need to be held accountable, or we're creating, like I said, tasks and projects and things like deadlines, or we need to be held accountable, we have to make sure that those feel those things feel an integrity. Otherwise, fulfilling those is going to be a lot harder. So when we feel into all of these things, it becomes a little bit more sound, we have a little bit more direction. We don't feel as shaming about it if we don't complete it, because what right there's, there's a reason for it. So I'm just going to go straight right here. We're going to drop all shame around not getting shit done. Okay, because there's reasons.
Speaker 1:
Alright, we live in a neurotypical world. Things are set up to, you know, not accommodate us as well, although things are moving in the right direction, which is fantastic. But for a long time, like right, we're growing up, they were not. So we're able to. Now, like there was other things that set up for us. Right, we've been, you know, told you to do the thing. You don't do the thing, but if you don't do the thing you're bad. Kind of make it real simple. And so there's the leave some room for why.
Speaker 1:
And as a mom, as an entrepreneur, as a human in general, I've always wanted to know why, and so knowing why I didn't complete something helps. And then I take it a step further. After I've kind of analyzed, I've thought through why I didn't complete something, I start going well, what do I need to do in the future to be able to do this thing Right? I don't want to keep going down that path and so, basically, I've created systems in my life that allow these things to come a little easier. Some things are automated, some things are reminders right. I have people, accountability partners, things like that, biz besties, mentors. I have a lot of community, a lot of people, a lot of things surrounding me that help hold me accountable, and I've thrown shame out the window. Shame does not. It might. It might try to pop into my little bubble, but shame is not allowed in, because there is a reason for the. There's a reason for everything that we do. There's a reason for the things that we don't do, and we really need to feel into what those are Alright.
Speaker 1:
So, when it comes to accountability, as I said, we want to make sure we're creating things and doing things in a relationship with people friendships, you know, intimate relationships, all those things, any sort of relationship with people where we feel an integrity, like we feel as an honest connection, communication. We also wanna feel an integrity with our business and the things that we're doing in our business and the things that we're delivering to our clients or the products we're producing. Right, we wanna feel like a million bucks, we wanna feel honest and confident in those things, and that is how we feel in integrity. All right, that's at least how I explain it. Anyway, I would love to hear how you would explain it. If you'd like to let me know, send me a DM and we can chat about it.
Speaker 1:
Right, as I'm going back to the beginning here, accountability can feel really shaming, right, but we're throwing a shame out the window and it can feel really like it can stress you out. It can be very nervous energy, okay. And so what I have learned over the years, especially since I've started really enrolling to write people and systems into my life, is that when you find the right accountability thing whether that be a person, whether that be a system, whatever it is once you find that, that's when things start to work. A lot better Thing is it making you feel shame. That human is giving you grace, whatever. That is right, and you're then ensuring that you're creating those things in alignment with how you truly want to feel, right.
Speaker 1:
So how I do accountability with my clients is that we create this plan. All right, we all need a plan, we all need a direction, we all need clarity, right? So we create this plan and then we put in place small, bite size action steps to be able to execute this plan, actually put this plan into place. Okay, this plan could also be a system, right, it's the same idea. So we create bite size action steps for this system to be able to be put into place. So, whether it's a plan or a system, or then we're creating deadlines, or these are flexible deadlines, depending on what your desires and goals are, right, I like to give myself flexible deadlines, though, but then ample amount of time to actually take action on it, not trying to make myself rush, really feeling into it and things like that and so that's the type of accountability that I give to my clients is that we, like I said, we create that plan for that social media, for that business, for that system, whatever it is and then we break it down.
Speaker 1:
We create these bite size action steps and then we actually take action on those bite size action steps, and we have the accountability if we get stuck or if we're not really sure, we need some clarity or whatever it is that's standing in your way from. Here's the plan we created the plan to now. I have to take action on the plan and whatever is there. Are you stuck? Do you know how the resources? Are you not sure what the next step is? Do you need some encouraging motivation? Do you need something that tells you that you do need to take action on this? Do we need a training? What do we need that's missing at this given moment to be able to then take action on it?
Speaker 1:
I take accountability in that respect because there is always something bigger hiding as I explained it. It's hiding somewhere and we have to ask the right questions to get it to come out and show itself. So then we can create this plan or take this action, depending on what it is, to be able to get past that so that you can follow through with what you truly desire. Okay. So I take a completely different approach to accountability because that feels really good to me. For me to stay in integrity, I have to. I have. I put forth this, this form of like. We're gonna figure it all out, we're going to hash it out and we're gonna figure out what is the best next step for you to be able to still get that bite-size action step checked off that list, okay, and 90% of the time you I just asked the questions, but they're pointed questions, right, and you come up with the answer. Because when your brain understand, like when your brain came up with the answer, there is now far less obstacles in the way than if I told you what to do right now and this is what you asked me for, right. But I always come at it from a way of you are going to figure it out, because we all truly hold most of the answers to these things, right, or we have the capabilities to be able to go find them right, and so we sometimes we just need to pull them out. Sometimes we just need to pull out this problem that is festering somewhere that is causing some sort of, you know, slowing or whatever it looks like. Right, it's causing some sort of issue for you. So I'm also going to give you a little flip here.
Speaker 1:
So how do I use accountability? Because I said I do this for my clients. How do I use accountability? I actually use some systems. I use ClickUp for accountability. I input deadlines and sometimes I don't follow through those deadlines. However, they are flexible deadlines on purpose, because I've created a system that allows deadlines to be flexible in some cases. Okay, obviously, if I'm launching something, it has a strict deadline. But I'm also going to give myself a proper prep time and proper proper launch time and things like that. I'm going to clear my schedule, not overpack it. Right, I'm going to do things to ensure that I can actually hit those deadlines. So I'm holding myself accountable by clearing the way. Okay, that's one way.
Speaker 1:
And then I'm also bringing in people. All right, my husband is a great accountability partner for me. I have a biz bestie that I bring in for certain things. Sometimes I bring in an employer, not an employer. Sometimes I bring in a mentor. Sometimes you have an employer that you have to answer to right and they give you deadlines right. They give you days that you have to do certain things by right. So in this context, I use different forms of tools and I use different humans in my life, depending on what I am going for. If it's business related, maybe bringing in a business bestie or a mentor. If it's personal my husband, you know you can use whomever feels right. Just ensure that they know what's going on, like they can relate to what's going on.
Speaker 1:
You're not gonna bring in someone that has absolutely no business knowledge told you accountable for something in business, especially when you start, if you would get stuck on something. They're not in the same wavelength as you, so you would need to kind of accommodate for that. Okay, so that is how I use accountability in my life. I'm sure I could share on that even more, but for today I just want to give you a little snippet of it. That is how accountability is kind of like. Kind of like in our world, right, like how we perceive accountability a lot, and so what we have to do is that we have to find that right system and that right human in our lives, or Get that person and get those tools and put them in our lives right to be able to be able to do this thing.
Speaker 1:
Okay, and so if you're like I would love to have this type of planning and right-size action steps and this accountability Carefully, I would love it for you know, just see what it would look like with you and go ahead and send me a DM and we can chat about what your best options would be. Otherwise, you can head to the show notes and you can grab the link for the capacity club and see if that is for you. The capacity club is a one-on-one program that literally walks you through those three things that I just said Along, where I'm literally in your back pocket for the accountability aspect. But we do the planning, we do it breaking it down, we I help you, like work through any of these roadblocks that you're having by asking the right questions, giving a you know my advice, as if you asked for things like that.
Speaker 1:
Right, all of this is a one-on-one capacity in the capacity club, and so there is a group aspect when there's a community, so anyone that's in the capacity club also has access to each other, which is friggin awesome. So if that is something that sounds like oh my gosh, I need to check this out go ahead and head to the show notes. Click that link. Otherwise you can go to the productivity impact, calm forward, slash capacity dash club. I
